Inspired with Nika Lawrie

PART 2 - Unlocking Dreams: The Power of Belief, Self-Acceptance, and Commitment with Nikki Durkin

• Nikki Durkin • Season 2024 • Episode 89

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What if the key to unlocking your dreams lies in unwavering belief and relentless perseverance? In our exciting part two conversation with Nikki Durkin, we unpack the motivational journey of NBA superstar Steph Curry, who overcame the odds to become one of the greatest basketball players despite being deemed too short. Nikki relates Curry's inspiring tale to her own experiences with her project, Gameism, demonstrating how an ironclad mindset and viewing goals as inevitable can help you transform aspirations into reality.

Finally, we discuss the importance of intuition and personal growth, highlighting how commitment to one's passions can lead to a richer, more authentic life. Nikki shares the empowering realization that we are the creators of our own reality, emphasizing the significance of intention and manifestation in bringing our desires to fruition.

CONNECT WITH NIKKI DURKIN: https://gameism.ai

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Nika Lawrie:

Hey and welcome to Inspired with Nika Laurie. Today is part two of a conversation I had with my guest, Nikki Durkin. It's really, really important that you actually go back and listen to part one, because quite a bit of this conversation won't make sense if you haven't listened to part one. So please go back and do that. It came out last week. It's a little over an hour long, but I promise you it is absolutely worth it. Week. It's a little over an hour long, but I promise you it is absolutely worth it. This episode starts right where the last episode ends, so you won't even miss a beat. But again, I hope you enjoy it. Please reach out to Nikki and I if you have questions or thoughts. We'd love to hear from you and with that, let's get started. Get started. Welcome to the Inspired with Nika Laurie podcast. Earlier this reminds me of it too, but earlier, when we were talking, I was thinking about Steph Curry. Do you know Steph Curry?

Nikki Durkin:

I know you're from.

Nika Lawrie:

Australia. So okay, so Steph Curry is um one of the best basketball players in the United States of all time. I did, I did, I get the basketball.

Nikki Durkin:

I was like Ooh, I feel like basketball because you're American.

Nika Lawrie:

Yeah, so, uh. So Steph Curry, um, you know, he's one of the top basketball players of all time. He's one of the highest scorers in the league in the NBA here in the United States and really one of the best basketball players in the world. And Steph is, I think he's 5'11", so he's short, he's like a normal-sized guy but short for the basketball thing, right.

Nika Lawrie:

And so when he was a kid, he has a documentary out that's phenomenal. But when he was a kid, he has a documentary out, that's phenomenal. But when he was a kid he knew he wanted to play basketball professionally. Like that was what he wanted.

Nika Lawrie:

But everyone was like you're too short, like this is not gonna happen, like you're way too short, um, and so he just kept telling he's like no, like this is what I'm doing, like I am going to be a basketball player. And he just kept issuing that command and issuing the command and he showed up as if he was becoming a perfect. He went to practice every day. He shot more baskets than anybody else. Like you watch his, his dribbling and his, um, he has this wall of like uh, like light up buttons that he hits and it's like all like time sensitive. Like you know, they light up and you hit it as fast as possible.

Nika Lawrie:

And so he just kept showing up as if he was going to become a professional basketball player, even though he was too small, too short. Nobody believed in him. Like it was it's a really amazing story. But he just kept this is who I am, this is what's happening. And he kept issuing that command and he's literally one of the best basketball players on planet earth now, even though he's still too short and not big enough. And yeah, and you know, you see him on the court and he's not a small guy by any means, but he looks tiny compared to the other player.

Nika Lawrie:

Yeah for sure, and he's still. I mean, he holds his own against them like crazy and he's one of the top scorers in the league. Like it really is an incredible thing. So I just think about like you have that belief, you have that desire and you just keep going with it yeah, 100, yeah it's.

Nikki Durkin:

It's like I've always believed in, like with gamism, because it's basically been like five, five years of writing it and rewriting it and rewriting it and throwing out and rewriting and being like is it done yet?

Nikki Durkin:

okay, no, it's just like, it's just not good enough and like, in terms of the quality of work that I wanted to put onto the world, yeah, um, and like having to hold a level of belief in the inevitability. I'm like, I just knew. It's almost like. It's like, when you think about inevitability, there's this idea of like, if you, again, if you drop a ball and it hits the ground, and then I ask you a question of like, is the ball going to hit the ground? It's like that doesn't make any sense. The ball's already hit the ground, right and like. That's the way I view what I want. When I have an idea, it's like no, no, like it's already happened, like I'm just walking through space and time towards it, and that, by definition, means that, like, everything you encounter must be leading you there otherwise yeah because, like it doesn't make sense, like, um, and so again, when we talk about, like, issuing commands, it is all about perception, it's like it's all.

Nikki Durkin:

And so it's like you can look at the same pattern of information or the same symbol as someone else and give it a completely different meaning, and the meaning that you're giving it is the command that you're issuing. And so, like, the game is just deciding what command you want to issue and alchemizing, like everything that shows up has to mean the same thing, which is like I am X. Yeah, everything that shows up has to has to mean the same thing, which is like I am X, um, yeah, I mean like that, that's, that's, that's the clip there.

Nika Lawrie:

Do you want to? Do you want to? I love I was. I just I was writing down my note. Um, I'm just walking through space and time to get there, like it's already happened.

Nikki Durkin:

Yeah, it's already happened.

Nika Lawrie:

Yeah.

Nikki Durkin:

It's and it's, it's and it. For me it did like it was man. If you should have seen some of the moments that I have where I was just like so frustrated because, like when you spent three years on something and it's still not, like you still put it in front of people and they don't understand it oh yeah, it's like I get that it's like, but before, before the generative ai stuff out, like trying to communicate this idea to people.

Nikki Durkin:

It's too abstract, it's too like I didn't have the tool and, to be honest, like I just wasn't skilled enough, I think, as a written communicator, and like the amount of work like Steph, that was the same Stephen Curry. Steph Curry had to do the basketball drills. Like the number of words I've written and rewritten and rewritten. Steph Curry had to do the basketball drills. Like the number of words I've written and rewritten and rewritten, and rewritten and moved around and rewritten and then being like, okay, are we done yet? Like, cause I talk a lot to God and God's like no, we got to rewrite it again. I'm like, okay, Like I, I, I trust you.

Nikki Durkin:

And then also having this perspective of like abundance is the ability to do what you need to do when you need to do it, which is like a game changing paradigm shift in my perception, which was like my ego wants it to be done so that I can I don't know experience X, y, z or like play different games.

Nikki Durkin:

But abundance I'm like, but right now I have the ability. It's like all I need to do is like eat, drink coffee and like be in nature right, and I have the ability to do that when I need to do it, and so it's like by that definition, it's like everything's unfolding perfectly, there's no lack here, and so thinking that I need to be anywhere other than where I actually am is creating that separation, or like this error in my thinking that, like the process of like taking five years to do this, I'm gonna appreciate it so much more because of how hard it was yeah um, and like now, when I put my work in front of people, they get it like yeah, like that, it's like it's night and day compared to what it was several years ago.

Nika Lawrie:

Oh, my god, I, I a hundred percent relate to you Cause you know we've had this conversation about my business and my vision for it and I've spent the last five to six years like I had this idea and I knew what I wanted, but like how did I bring in all the pieces and what do I call it and how do I pitch this? And you know I have reinvented it. You know it's been the same vision but I have different iterations of it. I mean I probably have 10 different iterations of it and learning how to communicate what it is and figuring out the words I want to use and then figuring out how to just communicate that to another human being where they understand it. And it is the most challenging emotional process you can possibly, like it is pulling your soul physically out of your body is what it's like Right, and it's like you feel every tear you feel, every rip, right, it's so hard.

Nika Lawrie:

But then when you get to the point where you're like it's so hard. But then when you get to the point where you're like that's it, like that's it, yeah, that's it, and you're like it's, it's freeing, you're finally like, okay, it's there, now let's go make it happen, right?

Nikki Durkin:

100 yeah, especially when it's like like using words, um, as a, because essentially what you're doing is like resolving someone else's uncertainty yeah, about your idea. That's what communication is, which we just discussed. It's all based in information theory, um, and like that's literally what the game is doing to you. It's like resolve. It's talking. It's just you talking to yourself, but, yeah, different kind of language.

Nikki Durkin:

And so what I found as well for me is that, like it would be disingenuous to say, oh, it was just my writing skills haven't evolved or whatever, what. What it was holistically is like I was still holding on to things in my past, or telling an old story, and then trying to write the version of myself that like trying to write this version that I wanted to get out in the world that's still being stuck in an old, an old story about myself and about the value of my work, and so like one of the really clear messages that came through when I was like like okay, I don't know what to go, where to go with this next. Like I just took a bit of a break, um, because ai was like just starting to come in, and it was like a very at this period where I was just very frustrated because I I knew it was right, like it's like the logic was that I just couldn't communicate it and it's like being on an island, right, um, and I kind of got this message and it's like you're like where you're not taking your work serious, you know, and it was like what do you mean? Like I've just invested like years of what do you mean? I're not taking your work serious, you know, and it was like what do you mean? Like I've just invested like years of what do you mean? I'm not taking it seriously. Like it's almost like offensive, like I put everything into this, like not taking it seriously.

Nikki Durkin:

It's like, well, um, it's like you again, like you're still thinking someone's gonna come in and give you an a. You know like it's like. It's like you're handing in your report card to god and being like am I good enough? Yet, yeah, you know like um, which, to be honest, when you come from a overachieving school kind of based background, it gets, it gets programmed down to you with a little bit like text right, because you kind of but like I was like oh, I was still reverting into from an intellectual point of it's like it's see, like I'm like it's what I did.

Nikki Durkin:

Yeah, and also to be honest, because, like my dad and my brother are like um, again a symbolic representation, I'd say like a materialist paradigm, and so the amount of like ridicule in the early states, like in a playful way, not in a malicious or mean kind of way, but just yeah, like oh, that's cute, okay, it was like. Yeah, it was like, oh, I'm not being taken seriously, yeah, and like I'll look, but look sad, look, my work is serious, dad, you know like, you know, like look, I'm not a silly little girl like investing all of my time and money into this like silly idea. Like you and I was still coming from that energy of like needing to prove something and it and I I had to go through to put my work aside and just like go through this period of like. The reason it's not evolving in the way that I want is not to do with my writing ability, it's not to do with words, it's to do with me and it's to do with like it was to do with like the command that I was issuing and then the words that I was receiving was a symbolic reflection of like me needing to prove something and it came across that way where I'd be in logic and not into my heart, right, yeah, and so, like it wasn't the fullest expression of who I am and it was like such a liberating thing to realize that.

Nikki Durkin:

And then I'm just like, oh like, why am I even holding on to this story?

Nikki Durkin:

It's like, what if I just decide that my work is good?

Nikki Durkin:

What if I just like take myself seriously?

Nikki Durkin:

I went and, like you know, bought myself all of this new stuff for this new business and like nice lighting setup and like all this kind of stuff in my old apartment, which ended up kind of traveling around the world last year and kind of like gave it away.

Nikki Durkin:

But but like it was the act of being like no, no, like my stuff is good and I get to just stand up and say what I think and be who I want to be, and I don't have to, like get some person to give me a tick of approval or an, a plus, or like tell me I'm good enough, or like um, you know, like that, that energy of, of like, am I allowed to be like this? Am I allowed to think this way? Am I allowed to think differently to everyone else? Like I, just, I went through this like shedding period of getting rid of, like all of that and being like, yeah, I'm kind of weird and I like think really weird and I don't like share the same beliefs as, like, a lot of people. You know what, though, and that's okay, I think that's my the.

Nika Lawrie:

Probably the thing I've admired the most in you, though, is I remember.

Nika Lawrie:

So we met at a conference and we met in a crazy coffee line sorry, I just dropped my pen.

Nika Lawrie:

And we met in a crazy coffee line Sorry, I just dropped my pen, but we met in this crazy coffee line and then kind of started talking and became friends at the conference, and I remember you just had this assurity about yourself, and it wasn't cocky and it wasn't like I'm so-and-so, it wasn't like that at all.

Nika Lawrie:

It was like this is who I am and this is what I do and this is what I believe, and you wasn't like I'm so-and-so, it wasn't like that at all. It was like this is who I am and this is what I do and this is what I believe, and you were just like this is it take it or leave it, and I remember, for me, I was very like well, I'm doing this, but I'm trying to do this, and I think I want to do this, but I'm not sure how to do that, and it was this lack of certainty and this lack of an identity that had confidence and some of the things that I've worked on a lot, since knowing you is shedding that need for approval from the outside world and just saying, no, this is what I'm doing. Like this, is it Like? This is what I'm doing, and if you don't like it, then it's not for you.

Nika Lawrie:

I'm going to move on to the next who it is for, and so I think that's something that I've definitely learned from you and admire, and I know I'm still working on it. I think everyone's always working on it right Always working on it. Yeah, but it's something that you hold and present in a very I don't know if classy is the right word, but a very classy way.

Nikki Durkin:

So, yeah, such a compliment. Well, especially when you hear a compliment like that and you think, oh, that's so interesting because if you would have seen me five years ago, like I could barely I could like I had so much shame around it. Like it's like I remember I was like I was dating this guy. Um, it was like making me lasagna. Um, this is five years ago or something, and we were just talking and I was kind of like I was talking about the free energy principle, carpiston's algorithm. I'm like, oh, does that make sense? And he goes, oh, no, not really. And I and I was like, oh, I was like, oh, I was okay, we don't have to talk about it's like, no, like, what, like, what? No, like, tell me about it.

Nikki Durkin:

And I don't know it was it was, and and I kind of like had half written, I'd like written this book and I was half finished and I knew it was really good. But then I was also kind of like I just wanted this like very tough period in my life, but it's like again shedding a lot of stuff. And he's just like, and I kind of had this paradigm of like, oh, no one wants to hear what I have to say, yeah, like you know, it was like no one, no one gives a shit, no one cares, no one listens to me. It's like and and because that was like almost what was getting reflected back. Yeah, and that was the feedback loop and I was letting that tell me a story about who I was, which was like like no one more. Uh, you know, this thing is so out there and like, to be honest, if you say this kind of stuff five years ago and you don't have the credibility to back it up, you're automatically put in the like grandiose thinking, kind of like mental asylum. You know, like, yeah, don't talk about physics like this. Yeah, unless you've got the degrees. Yeah, um, and like that's what I was kind of doing and the automatic assumption is, like that I had been receiving was besides my close friends who knew me and knew that I wasn't full of shit, but like um was uh, insane, or like there's no credit, like why would I listen to? It was just like very dismissive thing and I couldn't articulate it.

Nikki Durkin:

And this guy, this guy, he goes to me. It's like um. I keep in mind like visually he's just gorgeous, you know, but like like very amazing man, but like cooking me lasagna in the kitchen is like powerful man, like um, very, um, you know, well done, let's say yeah. And he just like looks at me with this like power and goes and I and I'm like, oh, no one really wants to hear what I have to say. He goes maybe I don't give a fuck Like what anybody else thinks. I was like I want to hear what you have to say, so, yeah, go and say it. Like go ahead and say it. And he just like had this unapologetic, like confidence. It's just like no, I don't care. Like yeah, I want to hear it. You know, like this brazenness and I'm like and I kind of had this. I was like where did that get programmed out of me as a girl? Like in, like yeah we're.

Nika Lawrie:

We are programmed from very early on as women across the entire world, because you and I grew up in completely different worlds, like literally on the other side of the planet, right?

Nikki Durkin:

and we've all been programmed to shrink down, right, yeah, yeah yeah, like I, I that that's been a huge thing in my in, in my game. Like, if you think about the game, it's like a game's not fun. Unless you have things to overcome, right, there'd be no progression, there'd be no change. And so it's almost like you're because, technically, you're creating your whole past in the present moment. But I won't go down that rabbit hole.

Nikki Durkin:

But if you think about it, it's like usually, like everything you want stands on the other side of your biggest fear, and like one of my big subconscious fears has always been like shining too bright or standing out, because when I was in high school, when I did that, um, I was bullied relentlessly.

Nikki Durkin:

It's like men will, like punch each other in the face and girls will emotionally torture each other and exclude each other, like as a way of like I don't know, inflicting pains. Yeah, right, yeah, and so I had. And it was so interesting when I looked at this in my psyche in relationship to um, like what happened in my first business, because what would happen was I didn't have any problem going from nothing to like up here, right, and I could do it really fast, I could execute, and as soon as I got up here, I would find a way, subconsciously, to get rid of everything good in my life. And so I would do this like often, like I was like it's like this thermostat where and then I'd go down to the bottom I'm like cool, I can get myself out of it and I would have no problem going from here to here.

Nika Lawrie:

And then it was like I've done the exact same thing. Sorry, I didn't mean to cut you off, I just really relate to that. I've had so many experiences where, like you know, I moved to Manhattan and I had a great job and I was starting to make friends and all these things and it was starting to kind of grow and then I was like nope, and I pulled myself out of it, right.

Nika Lawrie:

I did the same thing in LA. I had great, great life out there, good friends you know, had all these experiences, interesting positions, and then I was like nope too much, pulled myself out, and I've done that several times in my life and I think it is it's like a fear for me. It's always been a fear of of commitment and in feeling trapped. And the irony is that the two biggest commitments I've made in my life were having my child and marrying my husband. Right, yeah, and I mean talk about traps, right, like you were in it once you have a kid and you're married. They're the two greatest decisions I've made, because my life is magical with my child and my husband is such a kind human being and provides so much security and friendship and connection and he gives me strength because of that. And so it's funny how for me it was fear of commitment, but every time I commit to that big scary thing, life gets better, right, and so it's.

Nikki Durkin:

You have to learn to kind of overcome those and you know I've experienced it multiple times where it is when you put your heart and soul into something and and then it feels like I remember my, like my last business and I was having this was just like having a really hard time mentally because I was transitioning into this new phase, which is like this obsession with gamism, and I did not want to leave the old stuff behind. And I knew I, I knew what my intuition was telling me to do and I ignored it.

Nikki Durkin:

And then I knew and I ignored it and it it just manifested horribly, um, and so for me it was just a feeling of, yeah, again being trapped inside my own creation, feeling that like suffocation of it, and then also just I don't know like, if you think of life as a series of like you're traversing to different areas in the game, it's like less surprising for you to find the right area for you if you have less commitment, and then when you, when you find what resonates to you to like double down on that yeah so it's like.

Nikki Durkin:

So it's like I subconsciously knew that my previous businesses were not the grandest expression of myself. There was stepping stones, like even my last business. It was a children's coding school. I taught children how to hack a computer game yeah, and now I'm teaching adults how to hack a computer game, which is like the whole picture, yeah. Yeah, it was like so obvious.

Nikki Durkin:

In retrospect I'm like, oh, this like makes sense, why I would go through this. Because, like I used to run, like you know, quantum physics experiments in a comp in a computational virtual world. I would hack the game and I'm like, oh, that's so interesting. These, like you know, experiments that businesses are doing in real life are exactly what you would expect in the virtual world. And like I'm sensitive for other Tiffany, I'm like, oh, you can replicate that here. And so I was like using it to explore these ideas in a sandbox and then being like, oh, so we're like literally in a virtual world.

Nikki Durkin:

Yeah, but there was that feeling of being trapped inside my own creation and in my journey I've had to, especially now that I'm shifting into okay, game is like it's done. And now I'm going into evangelizing mode, where it's like cool, I can talk about it more publicly and like share, and I have something to actually like share with people. Um, like recently, I just worked through this limiting belief that was coming up which was like okay, like this is the end of a certain period where no one like you're. Kind of like I was off grid basically for the past five years. Yeah, kind of like for the past 10 years, um, besides my close friends a little bit, I'm no like right, right now.

Nikki Durkin:

I am, I am off grid and it's like I don't really. I haven't really used social media, like, I've just been doing my thing. No one like no one has expectations of me, no one's like telling me who I'm supposed to be or like what you know like. And I think that a lot of that came from when I was younger and I had a lot of attention, attention, responsibility at a young age and then I kind of wanted to experience the extreme opposite of that.

Nikki Durkin:

And then now and then now I found myself, what I found myself working through this, this error in my thinking or this limiting belief that's more around, oh, committing like to this project and actually growing it, and there's a subconscious fear that it's like and then I'm gonna hate it. You know it's, it's, it's almost like I'm gonna get trapped inside my own creation and then having to having to anchor in like the truth, which is like no, that happened in the past because it was a stepping stone. And you know, like, I know this is what I'm going to be doing with my life.

Nika Lawrie:

Well, it's also that you know that limiting belief can be changed to remind yourself no, I can create this business into whatever it is I want it to be so that I don't hate it.

Nikki Durkin:

That's whatever that is, because I think again, it's like constantly looking at the world from first principles and not from the old stories that you used to tell yourself, like, for example, oh, I encountered this situation five years ago with my last business, which, to be fair, it's like I got to run that while I traveled around the world and I got paid to. You know, have a school teaching kids how to play like hack minecraft. Life is pretty good, you know, like um, but I think it's more just like um, like exactly what you said. It's like, oh, my skill set is different, like I can swim in deep water, you know. Or it's just like there's this fear, or this subconscious fear of like, but what if you can't handle it?

Nika Lawrie:

you know, yeah, but it's like.

Nikki Durkin:

It's like what, if you can't handle, um, I don't know, just like like it and it's like no, I can handle it like it's the universe, or the all, or whatever it's.

Nika Lawrie:

When you get to that point because this is the command that you've been giving you will receive the resources and the information and the directions exactly to like to you.

Nikki Durkin:

If you look at what my mind is doing, right, it's like it's like okay, this is what I'm stepping into, which is uncertainty. It's like I don't know what this looks like. All I know is that I'm evangelizing this work. All I know is that a lot of people are going to learn about it. Um, you know, like I have a vision for what I want to create, but it's like I'm stepping into uncertainty and it's like that feeling oh, oh, I love it. Like that like embodied feeling of just like I'm playing new games, I'm learning new skills.

Nikki Durkin:

Oh, I don't know how to do like that beginner's mind which I've missed because I've been writing for so long. It's like, yeah, I know how to do this and I just need to like finish my written stuff so that it would not be surprising for people to learn about my philosophy. Yeah, so. So it's like it would be surprising if I never publish anything. So I've got to publish the thing. So it's like that's done.

Nikki Durkin:

Um, and now I'm going to start teaching classes. So it's like, here's the intellectual side and then teaching the the practical side of like you know how to, how to implement, integrate this. Yeah, like we've been talking about um, and so, yeah, like I've really I've really had to kind of get, every time I get these, this story kind of coming up. It's like no, I, um, you know, like I can, I love playing new games um, but like I'm stepping into uncertainty and I know my brain is going to try and resolve the uncertainty by telling myself a story about, like, why it's not going to work to keep me safe, like that's what it's like, either your brain's going to do it, but like if you have more control of your brain, where it's like, no, this I'm not telling this story, like this is the story I'm telling, conscious, conscious, conscious, conscious, conscious. Like every time it comes up again it's like, oh, niggling old story.

Nikki Durkin:

And you're like nope, nope, this is the command, this is the command like, take that away, put it in, and so then you're issuing the command right, and so you don't let those stories kind of come in, and that's when the game starts rearranging like clockwork. And it's like I know all the resources resources always generate for me in the perfect timing, in the perfect way, in the perfect combination, like people or opportunities, like it's like I know, it's like, again, I know this, but there's a difference between knowing and then you go to like embody it, and I'm constantly getting new opportunities to embody it. And it's like what do you actually believe? Like people say, oh, I believe in manifestations, like yeah, but they don't embody it. Like it's like, oh, I believe in this, and it's like then why are you not investing your time, energy and resources into like that?

Nika Lawrie:

you know it's embodiment I think that's a huge mistake, that, um, you know, manifestation gets kind of a bad rap because everyone's like you know, I'm gonna manifest a million dollars and then they just expected it right and it's like they're. It's manifesting, is not just like saying something's gonna happen and expecting to happen, it's it's embodying and issuing the commands. And what is it you say think, speak, act right, and so yeah, and so it's like thinking, speaking and acting that manifestation into reality.

Nikki Durkin:

So 100, yeah, yeah. And it's always just like this, this conscious, like um, oh, that's an error in my thinking, like that idea there is, that I'm thinking right now does not align with the perspective of myself because already achieved it. So like I'm just not gonna think that, or I'm not going to act on that, or I'm going to like, yeah, it moves from problem to solution yeah, and it's like, it's like this constant, like consciousness, whereas most people are just completely unconscious about what they think about.

Nikki Durkin:

They're completely unconscious about how they think, speak and act and then and then they're like why is it not working in my life? Oh, life is random. God is random, god's punishing me, or god's like good to me, like it's, and it's like they. They tell the story. That is like, again, giving all of their power away to something that they're so powerful that they created, and they're so powerful that they can give their power away to a thing that they created.

Nika Lawrie:

I love. There was a podcast I was listening to yesterday. Our mutual friend, michelle, actually sent it to me. The podcast was Michael Beckwith. To me, the podcast was Michael Beckwith and Michael was talking about he has a term he uses. It's IDD. So instead of ADD, it's intention deficit disorder. And so the idea is that, you know, most people are wandering around without clear intention, they're just reactive to their day, they're just stuff's happening and they're just reacting to it and going through life instead of having that intention and that focus on that intention and then living, thinking, speaking, acting towards whatever that intention is Right.

Nikki Durkin:

And so, yeah, I think that's so key, yeah, and I think that's, that's my mission with gayness, and it's like you don't have to. It's not for everyone, right. It's like very, it's very cutting edge. But what you'll notice, with literally everything that has come into existence with one's fringe and weird and cutting edge until it became mainstream, and so I'm just like, look, it's a paradigm shift. And all I'm saying is this is what I believe, this is what I believe, this is why I believe it. I can walk you through all of the logic and I do it in a way that it's like you don't need to understand any math, like I explained to you, like at eight years old and I kind of got good at that because I literally taught eight-year-olds how to code- yeah, yeah, you know, and sometimes, sometimes that's what we need.

Nika Lawrie:

like a lot of us don't really want to go read. You know, the quantum physics science books and stuff. Right, but tell me, tell me how it works and how to put it. You know. Implement in my life.

Nikki Durkin:

That's what I want yeah, I'm like, I'm like I'll productize it for you. Yeah, um, so it's like I see it as new technology, if you think about, if you think about technology, just like it's a broader conversation. Technology is disrupting every facet of the human experience, every single industry. It's like it's absolutely changing yeah coming in.

Nikki Durkin:

It's like disrupting whatever it hasn't touched religion. Yeah, I like it's not a vendetta, I guess religion actually, this algorithm like and I write about this you can find the algorithm encoded in the bible, like all kinds of like hermetic philosophy. It's like this is deep, like when I say the rabbit hole is deep, I mean it is like very deep. It's this idea called the principle theologian, which is the idea that it's the same fundamental idea spreads through all god religions. Oh, yeah, and so and so it's like you can find this out. Like it's the principle theologian, it's the source code of the game. Yeah, um, and so again, our religion is more just like a symbolic representation of an idea with like extra stuff on top of it. But all I'm doing is being like, okay, like let's go back to the core, let's derive it all from truth, like math, okay, and then, and then here's how to integrate it into our life. So it's not just like some academic idea written into a paper sitting, but like in some journal, like, yeah, somewhere, but like, how do I?

Nikki Durkin:

The big challenge for me is like how do I communicate this so that it would not be surprising for more and more people to adopt this, this way of life or this sense of empowerment, where they get to create their own reality and and generate the stories and scenarios in the game that are empowering and like more abundance and they get to serve those people and like that's the feel of sense of fulfillment, love, connection, like everything that is heavenly right, because heaven is, heaven is, is.

Nikki Durkin:

If you look at metaphorically, relate this, say religious facts, it's like heaven is just issuing a command of like I am, I am abundant, um, love, like all of these things imply more than enough, and so the game communicates that back to you, but don't have it on earth, right, and so, whereas hell is like the opposite of that, it's like a lack of consciousness and the game generates like symbols of lack, yeah, um, and so it's like it's merely like. Let me show you a new paradigm. There's a different way of doing things. That's a different way of perceiving the world, and you don't have to.

Nikki Durkin:

If it's not for you, it's not for you, but like, if it is for you, then come into my world and I can, I can teach you everything I know you know and and that's that's that's where I'm heading with it, and I just think there's like so much fun stuff that we're going to be able to do with, because my, I'm got a background as well, like a programmer and in technology and whatever it's like. How do we use together this idea like it's a real life thing and, um, like creating tools for navigating the game and like maybe an AI coach that kind of helps you in your everyday life with all this? I just think there's like so many ways to put together virtuality and science and technology and this is like really cool. So I don't know what I don't. I'm certain he's going to resolve around what that vision looks like. I'm just really excited. I'm so excited to be talking about it with you.

Nika Lawrie:

Well, this has been an amazing conversation. I'm probably going to break this up into two podcast episodes because I think it's one of the longest podcasts I've ever recorded, but it's been so worth it and truly amazing. Nikki, before I let you go, I have a question. I always ask all my guests Final question for you, and it kind of relates back to what we've been talking about but, um, what is something that's really game changing that you've either learned or experienced that you would like to pass on?

Nikki Durkin:

and inspire others.

Nikki Durkin:

Yeah, if I, if I honestly, if I was just to distill it down into one of the core things that will just like absolutely change your life, is this idea of like you deciding what story you want to tell and what commands you want to issue, and it not having to make logical sense, it not having to be a continuation of your past. You can just like decide right, like just decide the theology story and coming back to that sense of power and claiming back your power, instead of giving it away to people who are going to approve of you, or like when this happens or this or that, like it's just like issue the commands and don't, don't ask god, whatever it's like you are god. Like you tell god what you want to do and the game will just like reflect it back to you. Okay, and and I think that's probably in a nutshell the most empowering realization you can have is just, oh, I'm creating all of it. Cool, like what do I want to create? Yeah, like what do I want I'll create?

Nika Lawrie:

anything. I love that, but I mean it's own your power, like that is the key right own your power, issue your commands. I love it so much. Yeah, nikki, this has been truly amazing. Thank you so much for the opportunity and connecting with you and just all your knowledge. I can't wait to see how you're going to change the world with this thanks, thank you, thanks so much thanks for having me on absolutely.

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Nika Lawrie

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