Embracing Your Authentic Self When Working Towards Recovery with Tamar Medford

Tamar Medford is a Neuro Change Method™ Master Practitioner, Performance Consultant, Best-selling Author, and host of The Road Beyond Recovery Podcast. Since overcoming her own 20-year battle with drugs and alcohol in 2012, she is now on a mission to empower those in recovery to master their mind so they can overcome their limiting beliefs and create a life so good for themselves that they never want to go back to their old way of living.

Connect with Tamar: https://www.theroadforward.ca/

Nika + Tamar's Podcast Episode on The Road Beyond Recovery Podcast: https://www.theroadforward.ca/podcasts/the-road-beyond-recovery/episodes/2147598678

Chapters

• 0:15 Overcoming Addiction and Inspiring Recovery
• 11:45 Journey to Recovery From Addiction
• 21:35 Recovery Journey and Growth Through Sobriety
• 25:16 Transformation Through Recovery and Purpose
• 34:57 Discovering Purpose

Transcript

Nika Lawrie: 0:15

Hey and welcome back to the show. Today's guest is truly inspiring. She has overcome addiction, she is an expert in recovery and she has a truly empowering story that I can't wait to share with you. Tamara Medford, welcome to the show. I'm so happy to have you here.

Tamar Medford: 0:32

Thank you so much for having me on the show. I'm honored to be here.

Nika Lawrie: 0:35

Yeah. So tell me a little bit. You know, I know we'll kind of get into the backstory and kind of go through it, but tell me just a little bit about your history and kind of your experience to kind of get an idea of who you are and what you're doing.

Tamar Medford: 0:49

Well, today I'm actually a performance consultant and a life coach and I consider myself a champion for people in recovery because I overcame 20 years of addiction to drugs, alcohol, food and pretty much anything else one could be addicted to Congratulations, to drugs, alcohol, food and pretty much anything else.

Tamar Medford: 1:05

One could be addicted to. Thank you, and you know, after I built that solid foundation in recovery, I got incredibly complacent right, because I think that's part of what really drives my mission today is seeing people that get their lives back right, that have overcome that adversity, and then it's kind of like, okay, well, I should just be happy with the life that I've been given back, and they get complacent and they relapse. And so today, really, because of what I've overcome and because of the journey I've actually experienced in recovery, my passion is to help other people really discover what that purpose is, so they can create a life so good for themselves that they never want to go back to their old way of living.

Nika Lawrie: 1:51

I love that. That's just amazing and I know we've talked in the past too, but I have a kind of one-step removed but very personal connection to people going through recovery and addiction and all that stuff, but very personal connection to people going through recovery and addiction and all that stuff. And so I just I you know, before we kind of get into, I just want to recognize you for the work you're doing, because I think it's so powerful and so important and such a needed thing. There's so many people that struggle and there really shouldn't be shame around it and sometimes I feel like there's a lot of shame, and so I love the support that you're providing people. I think it's fantastic.

Tamar Medford: 2:29

Thank you so much. And you're right. Right, and that's the other part that I'm they call it recovering out loud now is because there are a lot of people who are afraid to come out and say, hey, you know what? I have a problem and you don't have to be ashamed with that.

Nika Lawrie: 2:37

No at all, Definitely. So tell me a little bit. You know, what was your life growing up? Did your addiction?

Tamar Medford: 2:55

start really young. I know you've had kind of an umbrella of different types, but where did you really start to realize that you had kind of an addictive personality? Maybe? Netherlands moved to Canada when I was very young and my parents were great right, and addiction didn't run with them, but it did run in my extended family and so we moved quite a bit when I was younger because my dad wanted to follow his passion of becoming a video producer and so, yeah, we got to see a lot of cool things. We got to be in commercials as little kids, so we had a really great upbringing. And the only reason I say that is because a lot of cool things. We got to be in commercials as little kids, so we had a really great upbringing.

Tamar Medford: 3:26

And the only reason I say that is because a lot of people think that there's trauma always associated with becoming an alcoholic or addict, and that's not necessarily the case. At least it wasn't in mine, Although sadly it is true for a lot of people. But I was. When I was in high school, you know, I was incredibly shy because I had always, because we moved every year or two, I always had to make new friends and so it was always like oh boy, you know what if people won't like me? And so I was always kind of seeking that love from external sources, because I always had to make new friends Right.

Nika Lawrie: 3:59

Yeah, yeah.

Tamar Medford: 4:00

My dad was also very hard on me. If I got, you know, I didn't I didn't get A's or B's by any means, but if I got a C, he's like, well, you could, these new people, and you know, I started to make some friends and I had really great friends and I also kind of slid into the wrong crowd and I remember, you know, getting drunk for the first time because I had had sips of alcohol before. Because you know, we're European, I mean people drink at the age of 10 or 12. Yeah, yeah, you know. So it's not taboo or anything, and it was never restricted in our family.

Tamar Medford: 4:48

But that was the first time I got drunk and I just remember the way it made me feel. I literally my world went from black and white to color and I felt confident, I felt funny, I felt like I fit in. It all of a sudden became my solution for everything in my life how do you get to that spot? But that really makes it clear and simple to understand. You know, that's what I think a lot of people when they ask you know what's the difference between someone who has an addiction and someone who doesn't? Well, for most people you have, you know, a glass of wine or two and you start to get that buzz and you're like whoa, okay, I feel out of control. But for an alcoholic or an addict they feel more in control, you know, after they. But for an alcoholic or an addict they feel more in control After they've had it.

Nika Lawrie: 6:09

that's when the cravings really start.

Tamar Medford: 6:20

Yeah, yeah, absolutely Did you struggle with alcohol and other addictions, or did it primarily stay with alcohol for a long time? What did that look like? Alcohol was definitely my first love. That was always my go-to and in later high school I started smoking pot. You know, we'd do speed and I would just ingest anything Like I'd have friends that would be like, hey, try this. And I wasn't afraid, which you know. There was a few times where I had tried things and then I would be in the middle of the day at school and blacking out like in literally chunks of time would completely disappear and I just come to and I'm like what just happened?

Tamar Medford: 6:52

And all my friends would be walking away, and that kind of stuff never scared me. And you know, in my mid 20s, when, of course, after I barely graduated, my friends went off to college, university, and here I was not wanting to miss a good time I actually got into harder drugs and so I tried crack cocaine. The very first time I tried it I just went to the you know the strongest form there, and I just remember thinking, wow, like I feel powerful, I feel alive, even more confident than alcohol made me feel, and it actually allowed me to drink more because I wouldn't black out, because I was definitely a blackout drunk.

Nika Lawrie: 7:34

Okay.

Tamar Medford: 7:35

You know I would drink, and usually at around 10 or 11 o'clock I would totally black out. I'd wake up the next day wondering how I got home, and so when I started to incorporate drugs into my life, I could actually maintain my drunk for longer and I could remember what I was doing and that really that started my addiction off on an even worse path, because that was so hard to break away from.

Nika Lawrie: 8:01

Yeah, I can only imagine I think it's really interesting to break away from. Yeah, I can only imagine I think it's really interesting, you know, I know I have a fairly addictive personality, just in the sense of becoming addicted to sugars and different things like that, you know. But it's interesting because you say you had no fear in trying anything and I think the one thing that saved me from becoming an addict on, say you know, alcohol or harder drugs is the fear of using. I think had I not had that fear, I probably would have used, and so it's interesting that you didn't have that fear. I find that really kind of fascinating.

Tamar Medford: 8:34

Yeah, and it's scary, right. I think that's what most people don't understand is why can't you stop? And because they call it an allergy. It's triggered when we ingest something in our body. So when I've had that, as long as I don't have that first drink, I'm okay. But if I have a drink, I want more, because I'm chasing that feeling now, whereas a lot of people they feel that out of control and they're like I got to stop.

Nika Lawrie: 9:01

Yeah, yeah, interesting. I you know it's. It's. This does not compare at all. But I, you know I've been addicted to Starbucks for the last 15 years or so and I finally managed to quit. But I'm terrified to even walk into a Starbucks store because I want it and I know it's the sugar and it's the habit of going and those kinds of things and it's kind of an acceptable addiction but it's a real addiction, but it's that I know I can't even walk into the store because I will give it and I know this doesn't compare, but it's an interesting thing of that. It's that one little you just crack the door, even a tiny bit, and it'll grow from there because I have to eat.

Tamar Medford: 9:43

you know I can't not eat, but I would rather have French fries, you know, with some side of mayo, than a salad Like let's be honest, right, and the addiction still runs wild with that.

Nika Lawrie: 10:08

And I think that's what a lot of people have to do sometimes and I think it's honestly an okay thing to do is that if you need to replace one unhealthy addiction with maybe a slightly less unhealthy addiction, go for it. If it means you know having a productive, healthy life, if it means you know a life-saving transition, I think it's okay to go for that.

Tamar Medford: 10:33

Yeah, and cross addiction, I actually just talked about it on one of my episodes. I have a podcast called the Road Beyond Recovery and I talked about cross addictions in that. A lot of people who you know recover from one addiction. They replace it with another and for me that was exercise. Like I went to the gym six, seven days a week. I ate chicken, broccoli and rice when I first sobered up for a year straight. I ate chicken, broccoli and rice when I first sobered up for a year straight and it wasn't healthy because, of course, as soon as I was done and reached my goal, my willpower was so exhausted that I just switched it over to another addiction and that was back to food.

Nika Lawrie: 11:09

That's interesting. I actually just interviewed another gentleman who a very similar story. He was an alcoholic and did some other drugs as well, and he had gained a lot of weight. I think he was up to like 300 pounds or something like that and so he decided to quit drinking and lose the weight. But he became addicted to going to the gym. He was going seven days a week, sometimes twice a day, and that became the addiction for him. And that's not always totally healthy either. That became the addiction for him, and that's not always totally healthy either, but at least it was slightly better. So when did you really realize that you had an addiction? And was it something that you realized, or was it something that people in your life were telling you and trying to kind of pull you out of?

Tamar Medford: 11:57

So I was very fortunate to have some very good friends. My best friend from high school. We actually grew apart for a while and I ran into her actually right after I had experienced a very codependent relationship with an addict, and we were together for four years and when I tried to leave he had assaulted me. So I went into this really severe depression and I was using cocaine and alcohol every single day almost and I just I didn't want to leave the house and I remember bumping into her and I just thought, okay, if I'm going to have people like her in my life again, I have to smarten up a little bit. And I'd met my now ex husband at the time. But we had met and he kind of knew what I was doing and he just said, listen, you know, I don't want you doing the hard drugs, like I don't care if you drink, I don't care if you smoke pot, because he did as well and he was an alcoholic as well. But he said I want you to stop. And so we actually ended up moving away.

Tamar Medford: 12:54

My best friend had come into my life, which is great, and I actually got rid of my drug habit for about eight years because we moved and I thought, hey, if out of sight, out of mind, right. So I ended up getting married because I thought, well, that's what society wants me to do, I don't have a problem, right? It's everything else that's the problem. And we ended up. We had a good marriage for a long time, but the problem is we were both alcoholics, and you know we ended up. You know we had a good marriage for a long time, but the problem is we were both alcoholics and towards the end, I remember, you know I just my food addiction was out of control too. I was a chronic yo-yo diet. I almost killed myself doing Weight Watchers and Weight Watchers is a phenomenal program, but I did. I call it Weight Watchers for Alcoholics, like the alcoholic version which.

Tamar Medford: 13:42

I don't recommend at all. But at the end, you know, I was incredibly unhappily married. I weighed 215 pounds, we were financially bankrupt, we hadn't claimed bankruptcy yet but and I wanted to end my life. Because I just remember sitting with a bottle of pills on the floor and my husband was at work and I'm just like I can't do this anymore. Like I can't, I'm hurting people. You know I continue to promise people that I'm going to change and I couldn't explain why I couldn't like yeah, yeah, you know, to them sitting, I remember my best friend sitting with me on the bed one night we had had a house party and you know she never drank.

Tamar Medford: 14:21

I've seen her drunk maybe a handful of times and she's like why do you keep doing this to yourself? Yeah, and I couldn't. I said I'm not going to do it again. She was. You keep saying that tomorrow and she goes you're not changing. Like I don't understand the why you can't stop.

Tamar Medford: 14:36

Yeah, I think that was the first moment, you know, sitting on the floor with the pills, wanting to end my life, that I really realized I have a problem and I have to make a change. And something came over me that day. I think it was my pug. I had a little dog that kind of just stared at me and he's kind of looking like what are you doing, mom? And so I had this moment of clarity, like maybe I don't, you know, maybe I meant for more. And that was actually when I hit my bottom. Yeah, I was gonna ask, so on. I had put myself in situations where I'm like I can't believe I'm here, like it makes me sick to think about it today just knowing that it got to that. But my bottom ended up being when I decided to stop digging.

Tamar Medford: 15:31

Yeah, and I was told that because when in early recovery I would compare myself and I think a lot of people do today it's like, well, I'm not like they are, so I must not be an alcoholic or I must not have a problem, and it's like it's. It's totally on the individual right when you've hit your bottom.

Nika Lawrie: 15:49

Yeah, yeah, absolutely. I think you know across all channels, not just with addiction recovery, but we compare ourselves so much to other people and it's so detrimental in so many ways, but especially when it looks at the negative side, like well, I'm not as bad, so I'm not bad, kind of thing, and I think it really it plays a mental game with us. That's really unhealthy.

Tamar Medford: 16:13

Absolutely, and I always try to tell people. If they're like do you think I have a problem? It's like do you think you have a problem? Like are things getting out of control? Do you wake up wondering why did I do this again? Do you always think about alcohol Like there's so many factors. It's not just a one size fit all right, it's not a okay. If you're homeless and you're sipping, you know, out of a bottle of vodka in a brown paper bag, then you have a problem.

Nika Lawrie: 16:46

Yeah, it doesn't work like that all the time. Yeah, yeah, absolutely. What did early recovery look like for you and you know how? Did you have relapses, what you know? What was the process as you started to go through and start recovery, I guess?

Tamar Medford: 16:56

I'm grateful today that relapse has not yet been a part of my story. And I say yet because it could very easy if I get complacent and I don't continue to work. But you know, in the beginning I really thought that I didn't have a drinking problem or a drug problem.

Tamar Medford: 17:13

I thought, well, I'm overweight and I'm unhappily married married and I need to change my life. And so I actually assumed early on that if I could change the way I looked on the outside, that it would naturally heal how I felt in the inside, which I hated myself. I didn't like who I had become, and so I hired a personal trainer because I thought, okay, new Year's resolution, I'm going to make this happen this year. And we ended up actually knowing each other. We were in high school together for a year Small world always.

Tamar Medford: 17:47

We were in gymnastics and we were terrible at it. I can't even do a cartwheel today. I can't either, so don't feel bad, Okay good. Can everybody in the world do a cartwheel except for me? I don't either, so don't go bad, Okay good. I'm like can everybody in the world do a cartwheel except for me?

Nika Lawrie: 18:00

Because I can't go.

Tamar Medford: 18:01

Okay, good. And so it was nice because we right away had that kind of connection. And you know, I'm just like I want to be, because I'm an overachiever in everything that I do. I'm like I want to be that good student. I want to lose the 75 pounds because I was really overweight. And she's like okay, you know what is your goal. I remember saying and we laughed about it after but I said I want to be able to go to Vegas, I want to put on a bikini and I want to feel comfortable in my own skin right.

Tamar Medford: 18:34

Because that's the lifestyle. I really thought that I wanted you know the party lifestyle still, and so I embarked on this journey and, like I said, I went to the gym six, seven days a week. I ate chicken, broccoli and rice every single day. I would have my cheat meals every weekend and I hate calling them cheat meals because that, I think, kind of added to my relationship with food that I have today and so I went on like this for probably a good six months. And the other part of it is I had to log my food right and show her, and so the drinking was still in the way and I was very diligent with my calories.

Tamar Medford: 19:13

I'd work out extra on the weekend, but it actually got to the point where on the weekends I would have, I'm like okay, weekend. But it actually got to the point where on the weekends I would have, I'm like okay, how do I control my drinking? And I still didn't realize I had a problem. But I'd have three beer Friday, saturday and Sunday, so nine beer weekend, which if I say that out loud, it sounds that sounds like a lot, yeah, but that was like an appy for me. Usually that's how I started my evenings typically. Oh, my goodness, yeah, and so I'd have three beer. And then I would actually have half a bottle of NyQuil to pass out, because which NyQuil, I found out, also has alcohol in it.

Tamar Medford: 19:47

Yes, yeah, but I'm like this is perfect. I'll have three drinks, I'll get my husband to take me home, even though I'm kicking and screaming, and I'll chug back a half a bottle of NyQuil. And you know, I was so proud of the fact that I only had nine beer. And I remember, you know, telling my trainer she's like how was your weekend? I'm like great, I only had nine beer and I wanted to shout it from the rooftops. And here's the other aspect. If you might, if you think you might have a problem, if you have to tell people how little you're drinking, that probably means you have a problem. Yeah, absolutely, because nobody like I don't report, or other people don't report to me like, hey, I had two glass of wine this weekend you know I wanted to shout it from the rooftop.

Tamar Medford: 20:31

And I remember my trainer and I ended up going bungee jumping and it was a couple weeks before I got sober and she told me you know, hey, if you ever want to join me, I'm in recovery and I can show you how I got sober and I'm like I don't need that, like I'm doing do not see, like I'm drinking nine beers every weekend. But she could tell because of the behaviors, right, and she had known a bit of my history. And so I went out for a weekend away the first time since I had started this new adventure of mine. And we went away for a weekend and this is the first time I didn't have, you know, the gym or boot camps or anything like that lined up, because my schedule was packed with stuff that could keep me away from drinking. And we went, and the first night I only brought one bottle of wine, because I'm like I am that strong now that I can have one bottle of wine over four days.

Nika Lawrie: 21:19

Yeah.

Tamar Medford: 21:20

Well, I had that bottle of wine in the first hour and then I drank my husband's box of wine, a case of beer, and we ran a $200 bar tab that night. Oh, my gosh, and I don't remember those couple days. Yeah, it was so terrible. I remember waking up because, of course, I had really limited the amount of alcohol I was drinking over that time and I just I couldn't control it.

Tamar Medford: 21:44

Right and that's when I really got a glimpse, and so I actually called the friend of mine right away and just said I need help, Like I can't. You know, if I don't keep myself busy, I can't stop drinking.

Nika Lawrie: 21:54

That I mean what a what a powerful moment for you to realize that. Though you know I mean what a powerful moment for you to realize that, though you know I mean a lot of people go decades and decades and decades and don't realize those moments. So you know, as hard as it sounds, it's almost a blessing that that did happen. In that sense, yes.

Tamar Medford: 22:12

Yeah, absolutely. And you know, when I got sober, it was so hard, because I remember and I'm sitting there, you know, in my support group and I'm looking at people and listening to them share their stories and I'm like I'm not like you, like, oh, I'm not one of those drunk people Like, yeah, super judgmental, and the more I stuck around, though, and the more I listened the more I could relate to how they felt.

Tamar Medford: 22:48

And so when I started opening up about my experience and the first powerful moment, I think, was when I wrote out my story, I wrote out my life story powerful moment, I think was when I wrote out my story I wrote out my life story and reading it to somebody, I just thought, whoa, okay, it made me see how out of control my life was and I really had to focus on changing the way I think, changing the way I act, changing the way I treated people.

Tamar Medford: 23:13

I had to obviously apologize to a lot of people that I had hurt, but it was, I think, the first year of sobriety was really all about cleaning my side of the straight up, so making sure that I did the work on myself. And then I cleaned up my past right and I took knowledge that I had a problem, because if there ever comes a day and this is why I'm so grateful that relapse is not a part of my story but if there ever comes a day and this is why I'm so grateful that relapse is not a part of my story but if there ever comes a day where I think that I might be able to handle one drink, I could all throw everything away that I've worked so hard for, so it's constant work and recovery.

Nika Lawrie: 23:48

Absolutely. What are some of the tools or resources that you've come across that have been helpful? One in starting your recovery journey, but also maintaining it over time?

Tamar Medford: 23:59

I was part of a 12-step program. I still am actually, and I find that that I tell friends about it actually and they're like everybody should do that. I said, well, you can, Anybody can look it up and find out how to do it. But I think, like I said, it was first recognizing that it you know that it was a problem and then having faith that my life, like, would be taken care of. You know, I was. I never grew up religious, I'm still not religious, but I'm very spiritual now and I'm grateful because there's things in early sobriety I was so lucky to have my support network that would not co-sign and they weren't afraid to hurt my feelings because they cared about me Right, and that was something I had to learn that people who really care about you won't, they're not afraid to tell you, hey, you know what I think you've really messed up here, but they do it in a loving way. Or, hey, how did that work out for you? Like not so good, hey.

Nika Lawrie: 24:57

Yeah, hint, hint.

Tamar Medford: 24:59

Yeah, so it was all about surrounding myself with the people who had what I wanted right. And doing what they did and helping other people, and I think that's kind of where I developed my passion for helping people today.

Nika Lawrie: 25:16

Yeah, I love that. I think you know even we talked a little bit when I was on your show about, you know, being on the opposite side of that being with somebody who was an addict, and I had to learn, had to kind of almost go through the 12 steps as well, in the sense of not being codependent, not enabling the addiction and figuring out how to communicate with that person in a healthy manner, and so I think it's a powerful tool that not just the person with the addiction can use, but the loved ones surrounding those individuals.

Tamar Medford: 25:52

Absolutely. We call it doing your inventory and when you do that every year and you clean up everything. Resentment is something that's huge and I think we're all plagued with resentment sometimes, or an addict it can mean relapse, right, because we can hold on to that. And it just starts to kind of perpetuate from there and grow and grow and grow and then we've made this mountain out of a molehill. So it was really learning how to look at my part in everything, which was really hard to do because I was like well, that's not my fault.

Tamar Medford: 26:31

They're the ones that aren't treating me very nice, very eye-opening, absolutely.

Nika Lawrie: 26:37

So you really turned this into your purpose, into helping other people. How did you get to that point, from kind of being in denial to starting your recovery, to really discovering your purpose?

Tamar Medford: 27:11

How did you do that bankrupt? In that first year my marriage collapsed but I felt free for the first time ever. I was like, okay, I have this fresh start. But I almost you know it was always hammered in me to be grateful.

Tamar Medford: 27:23

And so I always practice gratitude, but I started to feel like this desire within me, or this burning something saying, okay, you have to do something more, like you've got a bigger purpose in life, but I had no idea what that was or how to find it. Because I was, so I should be grateful for what I have now, I should be grateful for my full-time job, but it's not what I wanted to do, and so, in early 2019, I felt completely unmotivated. I'd gained 40 pounds back, you know, because I wasn't really doing the things that I did in early recovery because I thought, well, I'm good, right, I've got this, yeah, and we don't ever just have it, yeah.

Tamar Medford: 28:05

And so my best friend actually said you know, why don't you start listening to podcasts? And I thought, okay, I'd actually never heard of one in early 2019. Oh, my gosh, and now I'm a podcaster, yeah. So I started. You know, I really thought again, it was about my health. And so I found a podcaster who eventually I ended up joining his health and fitness network and he actually had an event down in Los Angeles and I thought, well, that's cheap. I had met somebody in the group. So I thought this will be really cool, right, this is totally up my alley and very out of my comfort zone, because I love my friends, I love meeting new people. But it was like to fly down to LA and meet people I had never met other than online before was a little scary but it was kind of exciting at the same time.

Tamar Medford: 28:57

So I met a bunch of podcasters down there and they actually were the ones that were asking about my story. You know what is? What was your life like growing up? You know, why aren't you having a glass of wine tonight? And I remember a friend of mine. She said you know, you have a voice, you have a story. You need to share that story with the world.

Tamar Medford: 29:18

And I was kind of like, yeah, maybe I should, but how do I do that? And so I came back and I actually started the podcast, which it started as the road to health. And so I thought, because I need to reclaim control of my health again, I'm going to share my journey. And so I did that for a year as I was traveling for business. And then people started asking me you know, how did you build your website? How did you, you know, create your podcast and all this kind of stuff? So I started doing little lessons and I'm like wait a minute, like I could actually teach this kind of stuff, right, maybe I want to become a life coach.

Tamar Medford: 29:55

So when COVID hit and of course I couldn't travel for business anymore, I thought now is the opportune time for me to start my business because I'd already been helping people get sober for, you know, seven years and I love seeing the light go on in their eyes when they got that they could create this amazing life for themselves, could create this amazing life for themselves, and because I had been, then, at that point, working through my mindset because that's ultimately what I needed to change Absolutely. Yeah, I started to work with people and some of them were in recovery, some weren't in recovery, and I really enjoyed helping them figure out what their purpose was, because the program I had gone through, which I now teach that it helps you, you know, figure out. They call it ikigai, which is your reason for being the reason you wake up in the morning, but then seeing them create goals that actually aligned with that vision they had, which I had never done before, and I just, all of a sudden, everything started to click.

Tamar Medford: 30:53

You know I realized that I love dealing with people who were in recovery from anything, because there's so many forms of recovery right. And that's when, actually, the Road Beyond Recovery podcast was born. I ended up rebranding, but I just feel this like my cup gets filled every time I talk to somebody that realizes they're capable of so much more than you think, and that's when I knew I found my purpose in life now.

Nika Lawrie: 31:21

I love that Such an inspiring story to just go completely 180 and to use your experience to completely change the lives of other people and really have a ripple effect. Because not only is that individual you're helping, but it's their family, their children, their loved ones, their community, their coworkers and it really just has this huge, lasting ripple effect that you inspired.

Tamar Medford: 31:47

So I think that's such a cool thing limiting beliefs for so long, like that voice in the back of my head that told me who are you to do this? You're an ex-alcoholic right, you're in recovery. You've screwed up your life. Who's going to listen to you? And I had someone say you've got a doctor's in addiction. Yeah, like if anybody could teach someone how to get over multiple different things and recreate their life. It's you and it's our beliefs that stop us, and I have to change what I believed.

Nika Lawrie: 32:21

Yeah, I was thinking earlier while you were kind of telling your story. So I do functional nutrition and behavior change, and the reason I do the two together is because you know one. I want to state that getting healthy health is a journey. Health is not a destination, and so it's always going to be an ongoing process. And so you're talking about your complacency, like that's where people hit, like I've reached health period. It's like no, you got to keep going with it because it will, you know, disappear.

Nika Lawrie: 32:54

But the reason I teach behavior change alongside nutrition is because 90% of it is the mental game. It's changing your thought processes, it's getting over those mental blocks and it's changing your behaviors and your habits. Your habits are the biggest thing. So changing the routine of, maybe, purchasing alcohol or changing the routine of going into Starbucks or whatever the addiction is, it's changing those habits and so it's much more of a mental behavioral game than it is just fitness and nutrition. So your story just embodies that perfectly and I love it. Thank you, yeah, yeah, yeah. So you have you do your weekly session and then you also have a book. Where can people find that and connect with you? How can they connect with you online and tell us a little bit about your book as well.

Tamar Medford: 33:48

Absolutely. I actually wrote two books because, like I said, I'm that A type personality that's the overachiever, so personality that's the overachiever. So I'm like, yeah, let's not write one, let's write two.

Tamar Medford: 33:58

So I my story is in my book called Hope Elevated, which you can find on Amazon and that shares my story of overcoming addiction and early sobriety. And then, once I had found my purpose and my friends were like, okay, what's next? Like what, now? We want more. Yeah, I decided like, okay, what's next? Like what, now, we want more. I decided to write Beyond Recovery, which is, you know, trying to really instill that belief in people that are in recovery and that get complacent that they're capable of more than they could even imagine right.

Tamar Medford: 34:29

They can create a life so good for themselves that they never want to go back to their old way of living. So that's available on Amazon as well, but you can tune into the podcast, which is the Road Beyond Recovery, and then the easiest way to find me is from my website. All my social media handles are on there, which is theroadforwardca.

Nika Lawrie: 34:49

Perfect, and I will link to all of those in the show notes too, just to make it as easy as possible. Awesome, yeah. So my last question for you, but before I get to that, I just want to recognize you. I know I did a little bit at the top of the show, but the work you're doing to change lives is so important and again, just to remove the stigma from addiction and inspire people to make that change and know that they're not alone. It's really powerful and I just commend you for what you're doing.

Tamar Medford: 35:17

Thank you so much. I enjoy sharing it.

Nika Lawrie: 35:20

Yay. So my last question. It's something that I asked all of my guests, but I love the answers because they're always different and inspiring. So what advice do you have for someone who wants to make change either in their life, in their community or around the world?

Tamar Medford: 35:39

their life, in their community or around the world. I would say do some self-analysis on yourself. What is your purpose, right? What gets you fired up to wake up in the morning? Because I hated getting out of bed every morning, you know it was like, oh, I want to hit the snooze button. And when I discovered my purpose, and I discovered what I was passionate about, and I started doing that every day, my life has changed in ways that I could have never imagined. And I believe that we all do have a purpose, right, we all have a calling. It may not be a career, so to speak, but when you start to discover what gets you excited and you do things that make you feel good, your life can change drastically.

Nika Lawrie: 36:16

Yeah, it's almost finding that that fun thing or that, you know, the thing that really just sparks your interest. It doesn't, I think, people so often think of purpose as their career, their you know what is the job they're supposed to have, and I think so often the reality is a purpose is something that brings you joy and and and you know you have fun doing, and so it kind of makes it a little easier to find when you look that way, absolutely yeah. Well, thank you so much for being here. I love just you sharing your story with us and all of your knowledge and experience, and I'm super grateful. So, thank you, thank you for having me, yeah.