A Guide To Decolonizing Your Health with Meredith Keith-Chirch

In this episode, Meredith Keith-Chirch challenges us to rethink how we live day-to-day and to consider what's possible - What changes might even improve our health and happiness. Meredith currently lives car-free, phone-free, and school-free. She explains what that means, how she pulls it off, and how it's benefited her life over the last few years.

ABOUT THE GUEST:
Meredith Keith-Chirch is the founder of Decolonizing Your Health, where she helps unconventional women reject oppressive norms and create the lifestyles that they truly want. In addition to this she enjoys multiple other roles, including that of dancer, vocalist, musician, and self-directed education advocate. She's part of a low-tech, car- free, school-free, conscious living minimalist family.

CONNECT WITH THE GUEST:
https://decolonizingyourhealth.com
https://www.facebook.com/meredith.keith.chirch/ 

Chapters

• 0:06 Decolonizing Health and Sustainable Living
• 14:27 Discovering Benefits of Car-Free Lifestyle
• 20:09 Improving Health With Car-Free Lifestyle
• 27:14 Parenting in Self-Directed Education
• 34:06 Educating Outside Traditional School System
• 45:18 Empowering Change Through Conscious Living
• 50:16 Navigating Social Media Reentry

Transcript

Nika Lawrie: 0:06

Welcome to the Inspired with Nika Laurie podcast. Meredith, welcome to the show. I'm so excited to have you here today.

Meredith Keith-Chirch: 0:20

Thank you so much. I'm really happy to be here and have this chat with you.

Nika Lawrie: 0:23

Yeah, so I am super excited about today. You have a very unique lifestyle that I just am super interested in learning more about, and I hope that doesn't sound offensive in the sense of a unique lifestyle, but you're just doing things in a very different way than, I think, the general population and I'm so excited to hear about it, so welcome.

Meredith Keith-Chirch: 0:44

Thank you.

Nika Lawrie: 0:45

Yeah, so. So, before we really get into it, can you first kind of tell you, tell us a little bit about yourself, tell us a little story about how you got to where you are today, and then also can you just kind of explain what decolonizing your health means for those of us who don't know?

Meredith Keith-Chirch: 1:03

Yes, absolutely your health means? For those of us who don't know yes, absolutely so. I am a lifestyle optimization coach and my focus on overall lifestyle really comes from what I've learned from primarily family members, certainly friends as well. Specifically, my parents, who lived in the same household, were married for 50 years. They had very different, I would say, health outcomes or quality of lives, based solely on just a few differences in their lifestyle.

Meredith Keith-Chirch: 1:37

So my mom struggled with health most of her life. She had different issues physically, like with her back, with her legs and also some mental health challenges, struggled with friendships, that kind of thing. And my dad again, they lived in the same house. They did some of those same things together. My dad had kind of always been in great health, just a few little blips here and there, but no hospitalizations, knock on wood, you know, just a really happy, thriving individual. So I noticed this over the years and I could see that certain things my dad was doing, based on, you know, his everyday lifestyle, you know those were really different than what my mom did. So, be it his food choices, his community surrounding himself, with people that he felt good around, that really fed his soul, the things he chose to do all day making intentional choices about joy and following that versus obligation. Or will I have to do this because I'm a mom or because I am a kid and I have to support my parents, those kinds of things? So it was really through seeing that that I realized that there was something to the choices that we make every day and that maybe if I could help people who wanted that support to make those changes didn't have to figure that all out completely on their own or just try to read books and that kind of thing, that maybe that's what I was here to do. And then, additionally, I actually have adult stepkids and when they were younger they lived with us on a part-time basis and at a certain point in their lives preteen teen years they came to live with us full-time and their health totally changed. They became a much healthier weight. They'd had an unhealthy, they were overweight, essentially and had a lot of illnesses, colds, respiratory infections, just always something that they were feeling not their best and I could really see the difference when they came into a different household that had a significantly different lifestyle. So really it was just through seeing that that I really wanted to be able to be here for those folks who knew like something's not right, and maybe they don't exactly know where to start with that, but that it was really their whole lifestyle that they were looking at.

Meredith Keith-Chirch: 3:57

And then, in terms of the decolonization piece, you know, I really came to that out of noticing that there has been this movement of people starting to understand that something's not quite right in their lives. They're not following what feels right to them, they're following what they were told that they were supposed to do right. And when I started to trace that, what I found was that it's really come out of colonization. And I think this is something that people weren't comfortable talking about, weren't necessarily ready to hear when I first started out. For sure, and I've been doing this for over eight years now, so it's really just been lately that I feel that people are open to this concept of the conventional or mainstream ways of being that we would consider.

Meredith Keith-Chirch: 4:47

Our norms in many places throughout the world are not necessarily natural, so they're not how human beings started out. They're not what we started to do in terms of taking care of ourselves, living in villages, supporting one another and putting our needs over money, capitalism you know those pieces, and so that shift has been what I've noticed people really realize and can relate to when they are doing this work, Like, oh, there is actually a reason for this, this didn't come out of nowhere, and so just people being able to realize that I've noticed has had a huge shift in. Oh okay, like I get it now, I see where this came from, I see where we were. Here's what happened to end up where we are right now, and so what can we do to peel that back and not feel like we're tied to that just because that's the direction our society took? So that's where decolonizing our health really comes from.

Nika Lawrie: 5:49

Man. I love that. I think it really feeds into conscious living. The whole idea that I have for conscious living is to really take a few minutes to think about each decision that we're making that either has an impact on our health, has an impact on our family and our relationships, has an impact on the planet, so on. It's really, you know, being conscious and aware of decisions we're making, opposed to just going through the motions and kind of following the river of what society has kind of fed us, of what society has kind of fed us. So I really I think that is such an important thing to share with people and to put out there in the world. So I commend you for it. Thank you, thank you. So I want to kind of deep dive a little bit into some of the things that you personally have kind of taken on. One of the things I found really interesting is that you are both car-free and cell phone-free, and I want to know how is that even possible in this modern hustle we all live in?

Meredith Keith-Chirch: 6:53

Yes, great questions. And it's so interesting because, when you talk about conscious living, what I found was that once you start to ask those questions and make those decisions in a way that involves your being conscious about them, one thing leads to another. So I would say that it all started with more of a simplicity mindset or a minimalistic mindset that's a moment, right. So it started with things like stuff getting rid of some of the things that I felt I didn't need. I couldn't find things because I was like buried getting rid of some of the things that I felt I didn't need. I couldn't find things because I was like buried in mounds of stuff, right, yeah, like so much of this, so many of us do. So I started with that, and then it was sort of like one question after the other Well, if we could do that, then what about this?

Meredith Keith-Chirch: 7:40

And so the car-free piece came from a combination of finances, so we were actually looking at reducing finances to ultimately reduce our overall household budget. So it actually just came from a purely, I guess, practical perspective at the time. So how could we reduce our household budget? So that we could? At the time we were my husband and I were working full-time corporate jobs. That's a whole other story. But what could we do to reduce that, so that we could start living more of our lives for ourselves and what we were here to do, instead of doing things for others? So we thought about maybe going down to one, and even that initially, I really had a hard time with envisioning. So we had two cars, there were two adults in the household and I thought right away like I'm just not sure how we could do it. We're just so used to this, and so it was really taking that first step of mapping it out. So we thought well, it's going to save a lot of money, which was our first goal. It's really going to help the environment to have a car out there less. One less car, two less cars what have you? And those were the two sorts of motivators that started us out, and we did start with just going down to one. We thought let's try that and see what happens. And interestingly, we started to use the one less, because once we got into the habit of using public transportation, walking, riding our bikes, it got easier. So I feel like it's like so many things Like my initial response was there's no way I can do this and I think so many other people think that right, because it's different, because it feels scary.

Meredith Keith-Chirch: 9:23

And once we got into it, it was amazing how we were able to find things to support the lifestyle. And then eventually we actually had a car share company that came into our city that hadn't been there before, that had little pods of cars that you could rent on an hourly basis for a really low fee, included insurance, included gas. And that was the one thing that kind of threw me over. It was like this additional resource and I thought, you know, we'd been parking the car. We moved to a more urban location and at the time we had a car garage, so I thought it's just sitting there, let's just get rid of it. And one thing I will say for both this and also getting rid of my cell phone, was that I think one of the things that helps is when we remember that none of our decisions are final, and I think sometimes we think we're going to do this thing. It's set in stone, there's no going back, and that, you know, contributes to that feeling of overwhelm. But so many times we can just try something and if it doesn't work out, then it doesn't. And you know I said like well, there will probably always be more cars, at least in our lifetime. So if we decide we want to get a car again, like you know, we can do that right. So that helped, I think, with not being so scary.

Meredith Keith-Chirch: 10:39

And about a year and a half later is when I got rid of the mobile phone. And about a year and a half later is when I got rid of the mobile phone and that came out of. I just had gotten so fed up with getting distracted. And it's worth mentioning, I didn't even have a smartphone. I never had the high tech, I just had a flip phone. Because I was always kind of slow to migrate. I didn't really want to start the whole text messaging thing and all of that. Each additional step just felt like kind of more invasive and so I just had a flip phone, but it would still ring and people would send the text messages and I was not being present with my kids and I was missing things because I couldn't divide my attention and I just got really fed up and one day I thought, what if I just got rid of it? What if I just didn't have it? Now I will mention we do have a landline, and we didn't when we started out. But once our youngest kiddo got old enough to stay home alone, we felt like a landline was, you know, just a safety. Yeah, exactly. So we thought, okay, well, we have that, so that's, that's there to use.

Meredith Keith-Chirch: 11:48

The other thing is that we'd actually traveled the year before I got rid of the cell phone. We had been traveling in Southeast Asia and so we had gotten rid of our cell phones temporarily because we didn't want to get expensive international plans. So I used a voiceover internet system. So through my computer I was able to get a phone number and use that anywhere I had Wi-Fi so I could make calls, receive calls, also use text messaging or voice messaging. So I also think that changes help when you have a plan right. So I didn't just toss my phone out the window and then not, you know, have a plan for connection or emergencies or what have you. So you know, those two things enabled me to feel like, okay, I can try this and once again, if it doesn't work, there are more cell phones, so let's see how it goes. And it just both of those changes in our lives just made. So I just can't even explain like how amazing life has been in different ways and different areas because of those changes.

Nika Lawrie: 12:57

Do you feel I mean, what are some of the benefits? Have you felt like you kind of mentioned it was distracting you from your kids? Do you feel like you're more attentive there, better sleep? What are some of the benefits that you've experienced?

Meredith Keith-Chirch: 13:12

Yes, so definitely just being able to experience whatever I was doing right then was a huge benefit right off the bat. So being able to be present with family, being able to pay attention to whatever I was doing and having that opportunity to just sit there, like these two people, right, humans, before the technology Get somewhere early or someone's running late, it's okay. You can just sit there Right and the power right, and the benefits of just being able to be still and be with yourself and have thoughts or take a book, you know if you are waiting for something, you know, make some notes, work on projects, whatever you need to do, that was amazing. So just having that freedom of thought and to again just be, I think is part of a conscious lifestyle, right, like having those moments. So that was huge with the phone.

Nika Lawrie: 14:12

I love that you say just be. I think that's so important that we don't do enough. We don't just sit and be in anything. It's always go, go, go next thing, next sparkly thing that grabs our attention, kind of thing.

Meredith Keith-Chirch: 14:27

Yes, and, as far as the car, I would say that there were definitely some unexpected benefits from that. So, as I mentioned, we were pretty focused on financial savings and the environment. What I didn't expect was how it would work more into a conscious lifestyle in a couple of different ways. One was that I found that when the car wasn't just out front, we actually really thought about things we were saying yes to. So that could be just an invitation to go somewhere, or a class or a longer term type of you know organization that would have regular meetings, all those kinds of things. It gave us a chance to stop and think about. Did we really want to do this? If so, what would it involve? Would it be pretty easy, or would we need to rent a car regularly? And we can. But it just made us consider those things Like is it important enough? Do we actually want to do it?

Meredith Keith-Chirch: 15:25

And it was amazing what we discovered that we had been doing so many things, going so many places just because we could, because we could hop in the car, not necessarily because we actually wanted to or because it seemed like a good fit for our family's lifestyle or any of that. So that was something huge that we didn't expect lifestyle or any of that. So that was something huge that we didn't expect. And I would say the other thing is that our relationships got better because we can actually talk when we walk somewhere or even road bikes or especially on the bus, versus when I drive. Personally, I'm a bit of a nervous driver because I feel like I'm paying attention to a lot of different things and so I can get distracted and I'll miss my exit if I'm having a conversation with someone in the backseat right. So I didn't really realize that until I had the chance to slowly go somewhere.

Nika Lawrie: 16:16

It really has made for great conversations with family and friends, because we're doing something in a different way and it doesn't take my attention the same way, do you feel like you guys are more homebodies now because of it, or do you feel like you are experiencing more experiences, opposed to just kind of consuming and living, if that makes sense?

Meredith Keith-Chirch: 16:38

Yes, that's a great question. I would say that we're doing less. However, I wouldn't say we're necessarily at home more, and so the difference is I feel like we've gotten to know our community better because, instead of whizzing by or going far away places, we intentionally choose to do things in our neighborhood or in the surrounding neighborhoods or in the surrounding neighborhoods. So in doing that we discover more. Like, let's say, we're walking to, we go to an organic food co-op in town, so we're walking there, and when we first started going there we would notice other things that we never saw before. So oh hey, did you see there's a park behind, like tucked into that corner, or I've never gone into that store.

Meredith Keith-Chirch: 17:22

So it's interesting because I feel like we are supporting local businesses. Now we're actually doing more where we are than we ever were before. So it's been sort of an exchange. You know, like a different kind of exchange. You know, going to all these events or things like that, we're mindfully seeking things and at the same time there's plenty to do. We've noticed that's really close to home, close by?

Nika Lawrie: 17:50

Yeah, absolutely. It's funny that it reminds me of um. So I've I've lived in my current house for probably close to six years now and there's several parks around us. We're really lucky. Um, there's, I think, four or five within walking distance. So we're really lucky. There's, I think, four or five within walking distance. So we're really lucky. But there is a park that's like a couple blocks away from us. That is this huge, magical, gorgeous trees and just the perfect park. Well, we just found it last year because we went for a walk. That way, I have driven past that park four or five times a day, every single day. Didn't know because it was one street back from the main street. We just never knew existed until we started walking around the neighborhood and we found this park and we're like, oh my gosh, like how did we miss this for all these years? But it's to your point of once you start kind of just going around your neighborhood, there's so many hidden gems and little things that you'll find.

Meredith Keith-Chirch: 18:48

Yes, yes, that's so cool. I love that you found that.

Nika Lawrie: 18:52

So what are some of the challenges that you face? For me, I'm imagining, like you know, I go to the hardware store and I need to pick up something big and I don't have a car to bring it home. Like, what are some of the things that you're facing with this kind of lifestyle?

Meredith Keith-Chirch: 19:06

Yeah, so it definitely requires a bit of planning, right, a little bit more maybe administrative work on the front end, so to speak. And it's interesting because some of the things that we thought were gonna be the most challenging have actually turned into other benefits. So, for example, yeah, we have something, we wanted to pick up, something big before right, do we rent a car? What if the car rental isn't available because someone has the truck checked out? You know that kind of thing. It's been interesting because, as we've shared our living situation with friends and neighbors, oftentimes people will offer to help and you know, I definitely can use some work on asking for help. That's something that I personally struggle with.

Nika Lawrie: 19:50

Yeah, all of us are that way.

Meredith Keith-Chirch: 19:51

Yes. So that's been a huge growth opportunity for me to be able to realize that it's okay to ask and it's okay to accept if someone's offering. So that actually got us more in tune with people we probably wouldn't have interacted with in the same way Because someone would say they'd hear us talking about something. Oh well, how are you going to pick up that thing? You don't have a car. And we'd say I'm not sure. We have a few options. And they'd say, well, I have a truck. Do you just want to borrow my truck? Just let me know if there's something, or can I pick it up for you, those kinds of things.

Meredith Keith-Chirch: 20:23

So definitely it takes some planning and thought put into it in order to figure out things Like, for example, if we decide we do want to do an activity that we feel like is maybe too far to ride or it's at night, we can ride at night, it just depends on the roads and that kind of thing. Maybe we're not comfortable. You know how badly do we want to do it. Okay, we want to do it. So then we might be putting in the budget for the you know, car share, car rental or whatever you know, if it's on the bus line, for example. That's something that we want to look at, because it usually takes a little longer.

Meredith Keith-Chirch: 20:58

That's the other thing I would say that a lot of people are resistant to Well, I just want to get there and get out, and that kind of thing. This does require your sort of opening up, your readiness to have some more time on the front and back end, because whether you're walking or riding a bike or taking public transportation, those things are obviously all going to take a little longer than just hopping into your car. So you know, again, for me I feel like that could be seen as a challenge and certainly I think it was when we started and I personally could have used some clearing out of my schedule time. So, yeah, maybe, okay, then I'm not cramming four things together that I make sure it's like okay, what's the morning look like, what's the afternoon look like, maybe I don't overschedule myself. So, not to paint like a totally rosy view, I just do want to point out that some of these challenges, like, we've ended up finding good things out of them, right, but those are definitely some things to take into consideration.

Nika Lawrie: 21:53

I think too, if you look at it, you know in a in a positive way thinking about. You get on public transit, that's time that you could read a book that you wouldn't have had while driving, or time that you like you mentioned earlier talking to your kids or your spouse or your partner. You know having those conversations that otherwise you wouldn't have been able to have. So I think it's that perspective of how you approach the quote unquote challenge. Yes, totally.

Nika Lawrie: 22:19

Have you seen that it has positively impacted your health? I know we talked a little bit about that, but if you can kind of dive into that a little bit more and the benefits that you've seen there, yes, absolutely.

Meredith Keith-Chirch: 22:31

So the car-free thing for sure has been so amazingly helpful for my health all of our family members honestly, because I like to say that when I'm running late in a car it's like bad for my health, right, because I'm stressful or I'm stressed out, but when I'm running late on a bike or on foot, it's good for my health because I have to pedal faster or walk faster and I get like automatic cardio workout built in, and that's the thing that's been. The biggest thing is that our movement is built in. It's always there because we're going to leave the house, even if we're not, you know, going to lots of meetings and classes and things like that, which we sometimes are, because we we have a lot of interests, so we do those things. But even just you're going to go get food to eat on a regular basis, there are things you know you're going to go to the bank or all those different things like those little errands. You're going to be moving your body.

Meredith Keith-Chirch: 23:24

Even if we're taking public transportation, generally most people don't have a stop right outside their house, so you're going to be walking through the neighborhood or going to different cross streets. So the movement in our bodies automatic. That's just been great because we don't have to schedule it, it doesn't have to be artificial, it's just there. I would say similarly being outside it's just there, it's built in and that feels so good. And I can tell the difference because we do sometimes rent cars for longer trips or we go places with other people in their cars.

Meredith Keith-Chirch: 23:55

And I can tell the difference because when I get somewhere and I've been in a car it feels a little funny. And I've actually read a little bit about that whole sensation of being moving but not moving and why a lot of folks have some issues with motion sickness is because our bodies get a little confused and some people more than others, right, but our bodies expect us, our physical bodies, to be moving if we're moving. So if we're sedentary and but we're still moving, you know, sometimes that affects people. So in any case, that's something I've seen from that.

Meredith Keith-Chirch: 24:29

The phone it's, it's funny, but physical things and I've worked with other people who've tried experiments of just like putting down the phone for a while or that kind of thing. But the neck issues that we have, our posture, all of those things that we you know sort of aren't paying attention to when we're using devices, those things all go away when we're not in those positions for extended periods of time way, when we're not in those positions for extended periods of time. So that's huge physical benefits from that perspective, emotional, social, mental health, really, because I don't watch news, I don't absorb that kind of stuff, I'm a highly sensitive person, so I've learned that about myself and I feel much better than when I was tempted to, you know, always hear about what was going on from somebody else who was checking in or, you know, just just be sort of sucked into that external world. So that's been a huge, you know, saving health thing for me as well.

Nika Lawrie: 25:34

Absolutely. Yeah, you know you were talking about the posture thing and I remember I can't remember where I heard it or saw it but they were talking about how, like the Gen Z generation that's coming up and even some of the younger and millennials are having the bones in their spine, their neck, actually change shape and that they're getting almost like a point at the back of their neck from having their heads down, um, looking at tablets and cell phones and iPads and stuff nonstop, and so their, their bone structure is actually changing from the use of the electronics, and so that's kind of terrifying and heartbreaking and really high opening all at the same time.

Meredith Keith-Chirch: 26:20

So yeah, yeah, I think people don't realize, you know, because you're used to things. And again, it's that like following what everybody else is doing but not realizing the unintended consequences, right.

Nika Lawrie: 26:33

Right, Absolutely so. My question, relating back to the kids and the younger generations how have your, how have your children adapted to this? Do they do they hate it, love it, you know impervious to it, and do you think that they are likely to continue with this?

Meredith Keith-Chirch: 27:02

type of lifestyle after they leave home. That's so good. This is such a good conversation for sure. That's so good. This is such a good conversation for sure Because you know, obviously we absorb things.

Meredith Keith-Chirch: 27:14

That teen years, where it was, everybody else has a phone. They also my oldest, actually my stepson went all the way through compulsory school, so there were some differences. My stepdaughter actually opted out of the school system around 13, 14 years old. So the challenges vary depending on who we're around right, so we definitely had those moments of everybody else is doing this I'm not, however, all of them and then our kiddo that's still home with us, now living with us, who's never been to school and is surrounded by a peer group.

Meredith Keith-Chirch: 27:50

That's totally different. A lot of their friends are either adults or other kids who aren't in the school system, are either adults or other kids who don't, you know, aren't in the school system. So, but with all of them, they've all realized that people wanted to be friends with them because of who they were and it didn't actually matter. And the people who didn't want to be friends with them they didn't end up wanting to have relationships with anyway. After getting to know them a little bit more, they all had friends, they all had social lives. We had a landline from the time that all of them were phone talking age so people could still get in touch with them. They were able to make plans and have a life and all of that kind of stuff which people find hard to believe. It's absolutely, 100% true.

Nika Lawrie: 28:33

We all grew up that way.

Meredith Keith-Chirch: 28:34

Yeah, I know Not really it wasn't that long ago, right, yeah? And so now they're adults and my stepson actually has thanked us for the experience of not having a device being younger, and also we didn't support social media accounts for kids when they were younger. So he has actually thanked us. That feels really good, because when you're in it at the moment you're like, uh, I know, you know all of these?

Nika Lawrie: 29:08

am I screwing them up or am I helping?

Meredith Keith-Chirch: 29:09

them like yeah like I know they don't like this or whatever it is. This is right, and we don't know, because we can't foresee the future. So that's been really great. My adult stepkids did opt to have technology and they've used it in different ways and they've both said that they feel like they were so lucky to have that experience, because it's super easy to know what it's like to have something. You just go and do it.

Meredith Keith-Chirch: 29:34

But if you've never been in a situation where you were able to live without it, then it feels scarier, it feels harder.

Meredith Keith-Chirch: 29:40

And now they know it's not scary, it's not hard, they can be without devices, they can take breaks from social media and in fact it feels really good.

Meredith Keith-Chirch: 29:48

So that just kind of underscored the whole reason we were doing it and you never know, obviously, how it's going to work out. But we really felt that they would have the rest of their lives to do that and they could totally choose to do it and that would be fine, because at that point they're making their own choices, their brains not growing anymore, so they're not in those like delicate developmental stages. So a lot of things are different when they're on their own and they're grown. So yeah, that's kind of been the experience. I mean, definitely there were those moments of they're going to get asked why don't you have a phone, oh, that's weird, or whatever, and some people won't care. Some people will say, oh okay, and they'll also find some people that also don't, because we're not the only ones. A lot of times, I think, if we're trying to live a conscious lifestyle, sometimes it feels like we're the only ones and we're not right there or others out there.

Nika Lawrie: 30:38

That's the biggest thing. You know I I relate a lot, maybe, to your stepchildren, your children, in the sense I mentioned it before we started recording. So I grew up off the grid and you know we grew up collecting rainwater and filtering it and we had solar panels. You know, 30, 40 years ago, before it was the trendy thing to have, and to this day my parents still live that way. And as a kid growing up I hated it. I was like this is the dumbest thing ever, like why are we doing this? Everybody else has Nintendo and cable TV and you know, power after seven o'clock at night and power after seven o'clock at night and I was so frustrated as a kid Retrospectively, as an adult I mean, what an incredible experience.

Nika Lawrie: 31:29

I had to understand that that is possible and that my parents' goal was to make as little negative footprint on earth as possible. They wanted to be as just, green and cautious as possible, which is ironic because they ran a business helping the Department of Defense. Oh really, they really tried on the other side to live as clean and natural as possible, and so it's an interesting dynamic to look at it from the parent's perspective and the child's perspective of. You know, retrospectively. I'm very grateful for my parents for that, and so I love that your stepchildren feel the same way. It's you know it's an opportunity that they may not know is good at the time, but they appreciate it as adults not know as good at the time, but they appreciate it as adults.

Meredith Keith-Chirch: 32:20

Yes, and I will say that my teen, who is currently living with us honestly I feel like maybe the preteen years were a little tougher for because developmentally that's appropriate. I studied human development as part of my schooling, so that preteen year is actually really when they're super focused on everybody's looking at me. What does everyone think I would say? That even now, at age 15, they have said, oh, you know what, I'm really glad I don't have a phone sometimes, because they hear about some of the issues and the bullying and the not being able to escape and the expectations of, when you do have a device, of always having to be on it and all of that. And they've already said like, yeah, actually this is kind of nice to not have this extra, extra stress yeah, yeah.

Nika Lawrie: 33:04

So you mentioned a few minutes ago about being school free. Can you kind of explain what that means and how you've approached education for your kids.

Meredith Keith-Chirch: 33:13

Yeah, so we are part of the self-directed education I guess I would say movement or philosophy which is that our kiddo has opted out of the school system. And when they were younger that was more of the adult's decision, of course, but they have maintained that even at their age and essentially it came out of our previous experience with the school system. Both you know mine. I had my own experience, as well as my stepkids, because we had a shared parenting arrangement. In their younger years we were working with schools that they were attending that experience and of wanting something different, of noticing that the school systems hadn't really updated their philosophies or the ways of doing things since they started in the Industrial Revolution days, right. So, seeing the times have changed and maybe skill sets and what people are needing as they go out into the world today aren't necessarily what school systems are preparing them for and quite honestly, it also came out of our individual child. So, you know, when they were younger, noticing how their brain works, how they learn things at different times, they're neurodivergent. So we were a part of that community and so seeing what it had done, not necessarily for us, but to us, now that we're adults and then seeing how it really wasn't serving my stepkids either, and both of them had really different needs. We thought, you know what? We don't have to make this choice Again, part of that conscious lifestyle. And when you start to question, like, which things do you have to do? Actually, everything's a choice. So we thought, well, we get one chance with ours because we're parenting together and we don't have a shared parenting with another household situation. So, once again, there will always be schools. What if they just didn't enroll in school and we did things on our own? So we registered as homeschoolers through the state that we were in in the US at that time, and we've since lived in several different states which all have different rules.

Meredith Keith-Chirch: 35:22

But what we were able to do was essentially let our kiddo live their life as any of us live our lives. So how do we learn things? We don't necessarily all have to be in a classroom with 30 other people our exact age, all day, that sort of thing. So maybe we choose to take a class and that's fine. That's one way of learning right. We can also read a book. We can also find an expert and apprentice with them, or just hang out alongside them. We can find a tutor. There are all these different ways of learning right, and so we decided to embrace the idea that, by the way, has been around for way longer than schools grew up in community with others and learned from living life and having experiences, rather than being removed from those experiences and just talking about them or, you know, guessing about them and that kind of thing.

Meredith Keith-Chirch: 36:23

So that's what put us on that path. We felt like it was going to support our kiddo with their unique needs and, honestly, some of it was some of the concerns that we had about them being a kiddo of color and in a part of the world that we didn't have a lot of other folks of color around us, and so there's a whole thing about that as well. What about them being around other people that look like them and have a similar background? It's really lonely when you don't have that. So how could we support them in that way in their regular life, rather than having them be somewhere else where they might not be supported with that? So all of those went into the decision and it's been amazing, and I'm happy to answer more specific questions, but that's kind of an overview and this is coming from a personal experience.

Nika Lawrie: 37:13

So I have a six and a half, almost seven year old and she was homeschooled through kindergarten mostly because of the pandemic but there was other issues that fell into that and then I put her back into a small private charter school for first grade and the reason I put her in school was for the social emotional connection. She was very isolated that you know through 2020, being home and not having the social engagement. So I guess my question, the follow-up question for you, is how have you managed the social emotional connection for your child, being outside of a traditional education system?

Meredith Keith-Chirch: 37:52

Yeah, so, and I think that's something that a lot of people wonder, even pre-pandemic times for sure. So that exacerbated it. However, when we started out, and in many, many places unless you're in a rural area that really doesn't have a lot of other like a larger population there are actually a lot of other folks that are not in school. So it's finding those communities and that was something that we did intentionally when we first started out, before we even made the decision. That was part of my research process, right? So what opportunities are there outside of the home? And it turns out there are quite a few there, especially in this day and age, where this is much more prevalent than in maybe 10, 15 years ago. A lot of people are opting out. So there are.

Meredith Keith-Chirch: 38:41

If people are looking for formal classes, there are definitely formal classes. There are individual tutors, there are play groups, there are park days, there are co-ops. There are a number of opportunities. In fact, I would say almost too many, because when we started out, we signed up for too many things and then we were way overwhelmed because this one sounded fun and that one, and what about? So there are a lot of organizations like museums and zoos and all types of businesses that even cater to folks who aren't in school during the day, so you can get a special homeschool rate or a group field trip tour behind the scenes that other people don't even get, because we can be there during the day and maybe they're not even open on the weekends or those types of things.

Meredith Keith-Chirch: 39:24

So all of those opportunities afforded ample time for us to be interacting with other people. And the other thing I noticed was that it was actually way better for them to be around different kinds of people of different ages and backgrounds, because since I have one kiddo, my stepson, who went all the way through a conventional system, I could see that he actually didn't have a lot of opportunities to socialize, because you get a bubble in school when you socialize, like before you get there, after you leave and perhaps like a recess lunch type of thing, but sometimes, depending on the school that's really structured and you don't have much time. You have to, like eat your food. So you know he was having that experience that he wasn't really interacting with people during the school day and he'd have to do that afterwards or in clubs or activities and things like that. So you know, I think it's really super beneficial for kids to be able to be around other people besides their age, because that's how we are. For the rest, of our lives.

Meredith Keith-Chirch: 40:26

Like we're never all in the same room with people who are like just exactly our, our lifestyle age. What have you so? So, yeah, I feel like it's actually been better for our kiddo, who has never been to school, to learn how to communicate with all types of people, versus kids who go to school, are super shy around adults or they're not sure you know how to be around people of different generations. It takes a while longer, maybe, so that's what we found when it comes to that.

Nika Lawrie: 40:55

I love that. I think that's such an important point that you know I hadn't really even thought about but I very much relate to also. So when I was in high school I was a 4.0 honor student and I ended up opting out. I dropped out of high school. I think it was the first or second month of my junior year.

Nika Lawrie: 41:12

So I did the last few years of high school on my own and the reason I left was I had been put into a group of kids not intentionally, it was just luck of the draw that were not very good. It was, you know, the dynamics were very rough. There was a lot of drug abuse. There was, you know, sexual activity in early middle school. For a lot of the kids that I grew up with there was, you know, there was a lot of alcohol and drinking. That it was just not a very good group and it was kind of that way.

Nika Lawrie: 41:47

You know, I'd grown up with them my whole life. It was the same group kind of thing and and that had a huge impact on my social health wellbeing through the school system, through my early years, and so I ended up choosing to leave and I went to college early to kind of escape all of that and my parents made a decision to put my sister in a different high school so that she could be in a different group, and she had a much different outcome with high school. She, you know she did traditional school, but she graduated and went straight into college. And she, you know she did she traditional school but she graduated and went straight into college and had you know the quote unquote typical experience. But it was a much more positive experience and I think understanding the dynamics of those social influences and how they play a role in your health and wellbeing and your, your future, really overall too, is really important. So giving your kid the opportunity to connect with different social groups, opposed to being stuck with the same one, is really important.

Meredith Keith-Chirch: 42:48

Yeah, that's such a good example and I hadn't thought about that perspective. But you don't know what you're gonna end up with, right, and it is really hard to break out of those groups once you are in them and when that's where you are all day long. It's challenging versus if you're out there and you join different groups. If something isn't working out, you can stop doing that thing and try something else, and you can have that freedom, it sounds like in your situation.

Nika Lawrie: 43:13

Yeah, One of the things I looked at with my daughter when deciding to put her in a school was looking at the type of people that wanted to attend those schools. What were their interests? Were they focused on education? Were they focused on other things? What's that dynamic? Just so she could find a group that hopefully was healthy and inspiring and supportive for her. And so far we've been, you know, just in love with the little group of friends that we have. So it's been really great, but so hopefully we continue that. But it's it's, I think about that dynamic a lot just for my, my personal experience from it.

Meredith Keith-Chirch: 43:51

Yeah, that's great that you found somewhere, and there are definitely organizations that are working to, you know, make sure that it's a much better experience. And even if folks are in school, there's always the opportunity for self-directed learning outside of the school environment. So you know, that's always an option. I always like to say there's no one way to do anything. So you know, even if people are interested in the benefits of self-directed education, they can certainly delve into that outside of the school system and see how that can work for them.

Nika Lawrie: 44:18

Absolutely. Well, we're coming up to the end of the hour, but before we get to the rapid fire questions, I just want to ask if there's anything you know that we haven't addressed, that you feel is really important to share, if there's something that's like a little nugget that you think people would really connect with. Anything along those lines.

Meredith Keith-Chirch: 44:37

I think what comes to mind is just coming back to one of the things that we talked about in terms of how it can be really scary or sometimes seem overwhelming to try some of these pieces of a conscious lifestyle that you haven't done before, and that would just be the reminder that nothing is set in stone. So I know we said it, but it bears repeating, I think, because even when we know that, intellectually, sometimes our emotions, you know, kind of have us forget that. So just that opportunity to approach lifestyle changes as fun and as play, and that there's no one right way to do it. So, following what feels interesting to you, like, oh, you know, I'd like to try that and put aside the but, oh, I couldn't, because this, you know what could you just try as that first step to see how it works, knowing that you can't mess it up, you can't make a mistake, you can change what you're doing even after you've been on that road at any time. So I think that that can be helpful for people sometimes.

Nika Lawrie: 45:44

I think that's really powerful for even just small little goals that people want to have. If they're working towards something, if it feels tough or hard, keep working towards it, but it doesn't mean that you have to do it forever. If If you're trying to make a health change or something, it's just work towards it, so that takes away that fear Exactly.

Meredith Keith-Chirch: 46:06

And then you know, you don't have to wonder, oh, I always wanted to do that but I never tried. Like you don't have to wonder, you know, you've tried.

Nika Lawrie: 46:14

Absolutely, yeah, okay. So are you ready for the quick fire questions?

Meredith Keith-Chirch: 46:18

Sure, yes, okay so number one what is the most impactful book, podcast or documentary you've experienced or seen and why you Can Heal your Life? By Louise A, and it's been around for a while, but I always need a reminder because it really looks at how we're connected our thoughts and our feelings and our bodies and I feel like it's super helpful, no matter where you are in life, for just taking a look at how are you feeling? Is there something that's bothering you? Could you maybe take a look at what else that might be related to? So it's one that I've come back to time and time again over many years, so that's my thought Awesome.

Nika Lawrie: 47:06

Absolutely Okay. So question number two what is the best, either toxin-free or eco-friendly living tip that you have oh gosh, I have so many of those too.

Meredith Keith-Chirch: 47:15

Oh gosh, I have so many of those too. Okay. So I personally like the idea of things, products that are multipurpose. So this kind of goes a little bit hand in hand with my simplicity and minimalism. So if you either find a product or make your own which I always encourage people to do as well but if you find a really clean, safe product, find other ways to use that so that can really reduce your environmental toxin load. Whether it's a soap, let's say you find a fresh, clean soap that is completely free of toxins. You don't just have to use that on your body, you can also use it on your hair. We also have found some that work well as dish soap. It's just soap. You can wash your car, you can wash your pets. Make it easy on yourself and once you find those tried and true items, or again, once you find good recipes that you can make, use it for multiple things. We don't really have to have 15 different options, and sometimes it's overwhelming, absolutely.

Nika Lawrie: 48:18

I love that. Yeah, just kind of minimalizing all the products that we're bringing into our house too, and it, you know it's not only eco-friendly but it also likely will protect you from all the different toxins and chemicals and additives are in all of these different products we bring in every day. Yeah, absolutely so. You've kind of answered this a little bit throughout the whole episode. But for the final quickfire question what does conscious living mean to you?

Meredith Keith-Chirch: 48:47

Conscious living to me means asking myself why I'm doing something and being able to have that answer. And if I don't know, being willing to take a step back and decide if I want to keep inviting that into my life, whether it's a relationship, a job, a hobby any of those things can be questioned at any time. Observations for celebrations, traditions and rituals sometimes they're passed down to us from family and sometimes they're great and sometimes they don't serve our values anymore. So just being able to take a look at everything that we do and know our why, know why we're doing it, know that it fits what we want, and our joy Absolutely.

Nika Lawrie: 49:40

I love that for sure. So where can the listeners connect with you? Where can they find you online? If that's even a thing, yeah, great question.

Meredith Keith-Chirch: 49:51

I got that question before. Yeah, I do have a website and that's my favorite way, and I have a guide out there. That's a great starting place for people. So it's just decolonizingyourhealthcom forward slash guide G-U-I-D-E, so that's the best place People can poke around there and learn more about me and what I do. Also, send me a message through the contact form. I am recently on social media. A message to the contact form. I am recently on social media so I can share those links with you and you can, you know, maybe put them in the notes. But I have restarted using Facebook after more than 10 years hiatus and I am going to be using Instagram very shortly. Not there yet.

Nika Lawrie: 50:36

Okay, perfect. So I will link to all of that in the show notes for sure. So, meredith, this has been amazing. I'm so grateful for the opportunity to connect with you and just all the unique, interesting information you shared with us today. Thank you for being here.

Meredith Keith-Chirch: 50:50

You're welcome. Thank you so much for having me. It was great to talk to you, absolutely.